Alongside to establishing a regular workout schedule during the last three months, I’ve decided to see where I stand in my body composition. I know that there are other things to consider when losing weight than just body weight.
One of metrics to determine how I’m doing is to measure my body fat %. Thankfully, at my gym, they have the scale that measures body composition including body fat, muscle mass and so on. And honestly, having it at home would just make me more stressed.
There is an official chart for women and men that approximates where you stand and how unhealthy you are based on your body fat %. Needless to repeat it ever again, I am above the healthy level. Which is a source of shame and self-hatred. The first time I got measured, I got depressed for the whole week where, let me tell you, I did not eat to improve my result. I took it too seriously too quickly (sometimes I do that for other stuff too).
I’ve improved my body fat it over time and then got it worse this last month but recently I had this interesting conversation about it.
If my body fat % decreases, am I worth more?
Does my self-acceptance only increase when I lose body fat?
I thought of this because I’ve heard very fit people referring to themselves almost as badly as me sometimes. And if I treat myself negatively in this situation when let’s say, I have a reason (unhealthy metric) then it looks like nothing will change even if I get it to a low level if I think this is all I’m worth. Just a number.
In conclusion then, if my confidence and self-acceptance are conditioned by my body fat, does this mean that I am worth less if I eat badly for a while? Does it mean that even when I get to my ideal or healthy level, I will still think that I am only worth something if I look a certain way?
I guess the obvious answer should be no.
Self acceptance should be SEPARATE from these metrics. They indicate health level yes, but not my worth as a person.
I’ll try to remember that.